Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Hey Jesus

Hey Jesus, I really love loving you. I really love you loving me. Sometimes I really wish you would come talk to me in person, in physical form. But just because you don't appear the way I want you to appear, doesn't mean I'll stop going after you, stop searching out the depths of your heart. But, it WOULD be nice, you know!

YOU are my great adventure. YOU are my destiny. Knowing YOU, and growing in love...building this relationship, and trusting you more and more every is the sweetest, purest, loveliest of all things. I will waste my life loving you in the secret place. I'll dance for you in my room, when no one else is watching. I'll sing at the top of my lungs in the car, knowing you're smiling at my crazy antics. I'll whisper sweet words to you as I face the monsoon storms coming in off the desert, knowing that every word whisked away by the wind was whisked straight into your heart.

Oh Lord, may I provoke something deep within you. I don't know how a speck of a girl somewhere in the world can bring such joy to your heart, but I know that I do...I know that I know that I know that it's true. You must love me, because I exist. You must enjoy me, because I'm actually rather funny. You must find me cute and adorable, because someone has to. I have freckles and mischievous blue eyes, and only one dimple. I was made a certain way, with a certain humor, a song in my heart that spills forth in the form of a deep, heartfelt chuckle that escapes more often than not. Therefore, I can only conclude that you really like me. I'm glad I know this. I want to know it more. I want it burned on my heart. I feel like I could literally fly whenever I realize that you think of me this way.

Thank you for never giving up on me....for always pursuing, for always loving, or allowing me to go through heartbreak or trials so that I might live out the fullness of my destiny. I'm in such a place of growth, of joy, of expectation. All the sadness, all the tears from failures or disappointments....they've really turned into joy. They have really turned into songs and poems and creative energy. I feel like you are so good that I can't even understand it. You're the kindest, gentlest being I know. You believe in me when I'm about ready to give up on myself.   I so desperately love you and need you.