The reason I was gone for a while was because I started getting to know a young man, and then we started dating, and that took up a lot of time and a lot of my thought life, too.
Well, two days ago, we ended things.
Does my heart hurt?
Oh, so so so much.
That's heartbreak #2 within just under one year. I didn't tell you about heartbreak #1, mostly because it is such a complex, crazy, beautiful, painful, mystery that lasted for four unbelievable years of so many laughs and so many dreams and so many tears... it's a bittersweet story that Jesus allowed me to live through so that he could teach me so much about his lavish love.
And when I started this blog, it was still so fresh. I started the blog because I needed an outlet for my passion for Jesus, and I had lost my best friend and my first love, and could no longer share with him on this level. And so, then boyfriend #2 came along. And he was a man who deeply loved Jesus and was just a totally different guy. The first one was wild and crazy and passionate for life. The second one was calm and restful and contemplative. They were both precious men. I've dated a couple of really precious guys. It feels good to look back and know that. But you know what?! You can date the most AMAZING guys, and then they still break your heart!
GAAAHHH - ladies, why do we go through heartbreak? Isn't it just so hard?!
But I'm holding out for *him*...for the man that will love me with abandon and lay his life down me. If this young man couldn't do it, then that's okay. He doesn't HAVE to be the one....I would rather us not pursue things any further if that's the case. I don't believe in dating just to date.
But it still hurts pretty bad.
So here I am again - just me and Jesus....and it's going to be okay. It's going to be more than okay. It's going to be amazing.
The Bridegroom King is writing a story with my life.
I hold on to HOPE.